Dinner time

I've spent a lot of my time waiting tables, observing families who come out to eat, and the one thing i will never understand is technology out, when you are out with your family. The occasional glance at the phone when you get a text is totally acceptable in my eyes. We live in a society, where everyone should be able to be gotten a hold of. What I can't get past, is children playing games on phones and hand held nintendos, or two people on a date surfing the web on their phones. Have a conversation! I don't mean to sound like that old man yelling to get off his lawn, but this has to stop. Life is that thing that happens when you look up from your smartphone.

When I was a child, going out to eat was a serious rarity. It was always quite similar to dinner at home, except we didn't have to do dishes. So it was basically the best thing ever, and it was almost always a reward for school work, or somebody's birthday. My brothers and I knew we were to behave like angels if we wanted to stay. We were to use please and thank you to the server, and if we weren't sitting, we were on our way to the restroom. Now parents give their kids these games to play to keep them from running around causing havoc, and get in the server's way. I know this, because that is what the kids who aren't holding games are doing. This directly correlates to my last blog about ADD and ADHD. We, as a society, are stimulating children too much, to the point where sitting still, talking to their parents or siblings is simply not stimulating enough. As I mentioned before, it isn't just the children. I've waited on Couples, young and old, glued to their phones the entire time, crushing candy, and doing god knows what.  Why not just look up... say "Hi there, person I'm on a date with, How was your day? Oh... you spent it sitting with your friends in a room playing candy crush? awesome!"

The worst part of this whole thing is I'm a huge hypocrite. I can't help but take my phone out and use it, because I'd rather do that than look at the person I'm spending my time with do it. It's like second nature, "oh everyone's phone is out, guess I'll look at funny cat pictures too." It is so bitter sweet, because as much as I hate when people use this technology during social interaction, I love it for literally everything else. I can learn so much in an instant with my smart phone. if I'm bored and alone, I can listen to music, or look at funny pictures, or read interesting articles online. If I am in class, I can pull up the article we are discussing in class to more easily follow along, and not use printer money. If I'm eating dinner though, in a restaurant, or at home, I can keep that damn thing in my pocket.

Are my views on this too old school? Should I just buy a cane, and bifocals now? I feel like I am just saying "Back in my day yadayadayada..."

Should I get with the times and accept that this is how we interact now? (I don't think I can)

How can we bring back the old school way of interacting with people, while still keeping this technology at the palms of our hands?

Labeling children

Our class last week got me thinking a lot about how we label children with neurological disorders and medicate them in our society. I strongly believe that this not only shapes how other children, and teachers view these children, but also how they view themselves. Once a child is diagnosed with ADD or ADHD, they will immediately think that not behaving, or not paying attention in class is a personality trait and not a behavior they can change. I don't like thinking about how all the medication we are pumping into these children is affecting their development, but it cannot be good.

Every child is different, and I am not arguing the existence of these neurological disorders, I just think our society is too hasty to jump to them as an explanation. I am no expert, but I believe these disorders are caused by constant stimulation from today's technology, rather than some innate trait we are born with. focusing on only one thing at a time used to be more common. when people are so used to having multiple interactions with multiple people and devices at the same time, they will easily feel under stimulated when they find themselves having to only listen to a teacher.

A self fulfilling prophecy can occur when telling a child they have a disorder like this. they can start feeling like they can't only focus on one thing at a time, or sit still, or get good grades, or do well on their standardized tests, and so they just don't bother trying; using their ADD as a cop out. In my personal experience, I have always done better when told that I am just as capable of something as anyone else. If I ever feel like I have a disadvantage, I hardly try because I see no point. I would be surprised if children diagnosed with an attention disorder don't often feel this away about school after being told that they can't pay attention as well as the other students.

Do you think these attention disorders are caused or are people born with them?
Do you know anyone who has been affected by an attention disorder? How has this affected their academics so far in life?

siblings socializing

For those of you who have siblings, you know how many different aspects of a relationship are brought out. I feel love, anger, fear, competitiveness, annoyance and so many other emotions towards my three brothers that it is sometimes hard to tell if I truly like them. I do, but you get my idea. When people ask the question, why are you the way you are, it is all too easy to say my parents, my teachers, my friends, my school, my tv, and my video games, but i truly believe my brothers have shaped me the most. I am one of FOUR boys who grew up in a household. We were taught from a young age to never lay a hand on each other. We were taught things like;  "play nice", "help each other",  "hey put that down", "hey, put HIM down!" etc. The fact is though people do not always do what they are taught. people lose sight of things like that. my house had an only few times spoken rule of pecking order.  It was a mix between oldest/strongest got their pick when it came to seats on the couch, and who sat shotgun in the car, and where we sat at dinner. it seems like all our competition was for a seat somewhere, but it was more than that.

When i play a sport or even a board game, it is all i focus on, and i play my heart out. i remind myself on the daily to not let my competitiveness take over me, and i need to do this because of my brothers. I spent my life competing for seats, competing for respect, play fighting to see who was strongest, arm wrestling, 1 on 1 basketball, foot races, chess matches, backyard football, sparring sessions, report cards, who pissed Mom and Dad off the least, who pissed Mom and Dad off the most, and so much more. For what though? Bragging rights i suppose. It's no mystery why i'm not nervous to compete for jobs when i graduate. I'm not afraid of competing for that promotion one day. competing is how I grew up. i learned how to win, and i learned how to lose. i don't get down when i don't win something because i've had plenty of experiences losing just as much as i have had winning, and i blame Mike, Ryan and Danny boy for that.  They taught me to push my limits and to know when ive lost, and how good it feels to win. They are my friends, AND my enemies. My brothers inadvertently shaped who i am with our endless competition, but also endless support.

Which sibling you are closest to changes through the years, and whichever brother i was closest to at whatever time in my life, i could always talk to any of them about anything. i learned things from my brothers, and taught them all things. Ryan got me my job at Red Lobster, then I got Danny boy a job there. we helped each other with homework. we threatened bullies for each other. we grew up knowing we always had someone to help us with anything.

My brothers were the biggest influences on who i am. Now less than before though.


Do you think siblings play as big a role in socializing as i do?
What do you think makes us want to compete with each other?